We got the REFERRAL!

May 7th, 2010 at 2:42pm the phone rang. Chris and I were getting ready to take a quick nap. He had worked all day..been up since 2am. We heard the phone ring. My heart jumped as usual but I was not expecting THIS call. Chris leaned over and glanced at the caller i.d. He said, " It is someone from Twin Cities, MN". I could not tell him to answer it fast enough! He gave me the phone but wasnt sure that THIS was THE call. I could tell he was skeptical, as was I. After all, we have had so many discouragements, it has been almost better to not expect the call than to expect it. Sweet Amy, our sw, quietly said, "Hi, Shannon". In her solemn tone, I was sure she was responding to an email I had sent her earlier this morning expressing more discouragement. I was preparing myself for her comforting words of how we are close to the top or we are almost there....but she didnt say any of this. Instead, the next 4 words will forever be engraved in my memory. Amy said, "Today is the day". Her soft tone was so calm and collect. As I type this, I am crying. It was beyond a sweet moment. I said, "really?"...."yes!", she said. She asked Chris to get on the other line. Funny how it seemed to take.him.forever.to.get.to.the.other.phone. My hand gestures of 'hurry up!' were not seeming to help either!
When Chris got on the phone, Amy sweetly and slowly began to give us the details of our daughter. OUR DAUGHTER! "She is 6 months old. She was born in the Southern region of Ethiopia..." Her history was so beautiful to hear. I clung to every word. I scrambled to write down the details even though she promised to send them via email within minutes. Chris and I looked at each other across the kitchen counter as she spilled every word about our daughter. I couldnt see half the time as tears filled my eyes. "Do you have any questions?", she asked. Nothing..nothing came to my mind. I have been waiting for 2 1/2 years and I had NO questions. "That is okay", Amy said. "Usually there is not much to say at this time." Chris popped up with a question about travel time. Good question, honey! She told us that we would be traveling to court in 2-3 months and then we will travel 6 weeks later to bring her home! Glory to God! We have our girl. Our prayers are that everything goes according to plan: that we travel safely, before courts close, that we pass court, that we bring her home before her first birthday, that she remains healthy, that our children are covered during our travels, that we stay healthy before, during, and after travels, that there are NO complications.
PTL! We got the call!

Top of the list

Today is Saturday. A beautiful day. It has been a beautiful week as a matter of fact. But the sunshine seemed not to be shining so brightly on Thursday in my heart. I had just stumbled upon another blogger who had reportedly gotten their referral for a baby girl from ET. Not only that, but they had also gotten their court date already. They are also from TN. They are with a different agency and she had been put on the wait list in February of 2010. She was immediately placed at #19 on the list. And now..just a few months later, she has a picture of her beauty in her hands. This news seemed to penetrate deeply. I do not know this family. I do not know their circumstances. But...it seemed to make my circumstances so much more evident. We have been on the waitlist since August of 2008. We have been given no # on the waitlist. We have no referral. no court date. no picture to hold in our hands. I instantly sent a message to our sw in MN. After my plea for more detailed, comforting information, I decided I could not wait for a reply via email, so I called. She picked up! Amy was incredibly helpful. All in all, she said that we were at the top of the list. She said we are next. They are simply waiting for more referrals to come in from ET. I get it. Each agency is different. What seems odd is the incredible difference in timing for different families.
After I got off the phone, I melted just a bit. I just cried out. Amy had been very helpful, very comforting, very informative of the process. STILL the moment consumed me and I allowed all kinds of emotions to take place. While I know my Savior lives, I couldn't help but to buckle a bit under all the swirlies going on in my brain. Knowing this was taking place, I knew I had to do something. I reached above me to the bookshelf next to my chair and grabbed my devotional. (Notice I did not get up--that might have been too much for me). But thankfully, my devotional sat there waiting for me. As I flipped to that days date, glancing through watery eyes, I knew it was just what I needed. Its message was clear: Be thankful. As I read through it, I was convicted. I was questioning my Lord's ability to run this whole shindig. I was thinking perhaps I had a better plan. Wow. It is good that He doesn't pull back the curtain to the heavenly realms and let me peek in. It would be too much for me to understand. He asks that we live by faith, not by sight. The Lord's ever watchful eyes and careful hands have so tenderly orchestrated every moment leading up to us being at the top of the list. Everything from who our little girl is to who within the agency will be the one looking over her file and ours in order to make the perfect match. We are on our 12th social worker. 12th! It has taken lots of directing to get her to this point!
Needless to say, I am thankful. Tired..but thankful. I immediately emailed my sw back giving my gratitude and explaining my devotional. I wanted her to know how so very special she is in the process to us. The Lord has ordained her to be in this very place in our lives. How so beautiful.
She emailed back not too long after stating how it had made her day! how sweet! The Lord promises as we refresh others, we, ourselves will be refreshed. so true!
In a nutshell, we are at the top of the list. I am praying my next post will bring THE news!

It is Well

On Monday, Chris and I were able to steal away for a night to the Inn at Evins Mill. It is a precious bed and breakfast Inn that is tucked away in a very rural area with beautiful natural landmarks. It was a PERFECT getaway...so very needed for the both of us. The Lord was completely blessing us each step of the way with perfect weather, perfect room with super big porch, perfect food, perfect solitude and quietness of nature. This was SO perfect that I completely forgot to check out our agency hotline update which usually goes up every monday. Guess what? I didnt check it until Tuesday morning! Upon my surprise, I found that they are FINALLY giving referrals for infants to those who started their wait in August '08. THAT'S US!! Our official wait date (which is when our dossier landed in ET) is Aug 8, '08. This precious date of 08-08-08 is also the awesome birth of our sweet nephew, little O AND the birthdate of my awesome big brother! SO...needless to say, it is a divine date. What does all this mean? Well, that we are getting closer. Unfortunately, the dark side to that kind of news can reinstate a new level of anxiety; ie. checking my phone every hour or so to make sure it is ON, making sure my phone is with me at all times, panicking if I have missed a call, etc. This is NOT good. The blessing is that peace comes when you ask for it.
Today, I was surrounded by my precious girl friends in a our ladies leader group from church. I confessed my slight obsession and asked that peace come. Before leaving, they beautifully prayed over me a prayer of peace and contentment and that the call would come in the Lord's perfect timing. Even more so, as the tears rolled down my cheek, they prayed for our sweet little girl, that angels would protect her in every way. I am resting in that peace. I have included a pic from our stay at the Inn of the waterfall that we were so very blessed to enjoy all to ourselves that day. It was beyond glorious. The peace that flowed from that river was unbelievable. There was such a draw, such an attraction that it was magnetizing. Almost like the glow of fire that captures your soul instantly as you fade into its depths of glowing coals, we would just sit there in the beauty of God's creation without words to express. That peace is what I am trying to cling onto as we wait for the call. There is no way we could get any closer as far as notices from the hotline. So truly, the wait is on but so is the peace. It is well :)

A note from our Agency today...

You are getting so close to a referral so hopefully I’ll be able to call you soon! We did receive a good number of referrals this month so that was very encouraging to see some movement.

Like sands through the hour glass...

It is getting to the nail biting, clock ticking, sand dribbling moments around here. SURELY our time is coming closer. Today, we found out that there were 14 referrals given out last week. 14! 14! Okay, there was absolutely NO indication whether these were infants, toddlers, sibling groups or what. That is where the mystery lies. The last news we were given was that there were less than 15 families ahead of us. I am assuming that means infant referrals since our sw indicated that they were already jumping ahead of us to give out older children referrals. So, there is no way of knowing exactly how many infant referrals were given out last week. Unfortunately, the agency does not believe in being specific AT ALL. So..this means waiting. Gee...waiting. What a thought. Oh sure..I will just wait. no problem :). I never thought of that. Whew. That is all I have to do.
I will have to say that there was some victory today. I mean, I did not check the agency website for the update as soon as I woke up this morning. And I did not check it 10 minutes after that or 10 minutes after that, or an hour later, etc. I actually FORGOT to check it this morning. I consider that somewhat of success. I have been slightly obsessive about checking it every Monday morning. ..just slightly. If the laptop is conveniently located at my bedside, I barely open my eyes to pull it close to check for the update...never mind that the office isn't even open for business yet. That doesnt cross my mind until AFTER I have checked it a couple of times. Then I usually try to hold myself off until atleast 9am. usually no news. So, I wait until 10 and check it again..and then 10:20, 10:30, 11. Usually by 11am, it has been posted. But today, I didnt even check it until 4 pm! Do you see the victory here?!!! I had actually prayed last week that I would let it go. That I would not be so obsessed with counting the numbers and trying to guesstimate the possible week or even day that we might get the phone call. I waited until 4pm! Please, please hold the applause. Save it up. I am believing for even better news to come.
Continue to be praying for the Ethiopian govt to be blessed by the adoption agencies that are working in ET right now. There have apparently been some mishaps (details unknown) of families getting through half the adoption and then pulling out. This has created a new policy that was put into place last week that will require us to travel TWICE before picking up our little girl. This was not sweet news to my ears. But as my wise husband announced, "Hon, we are still getting our little girl. So what if we are traveling twice to get her. We are still going to bring her home!" Wise wise words. My worries fled. We are just praying that the country will not shut down or create more difficulties for families in the adoption process.

Referral Update

Our agency posted the latest hotline update from last week. Only ONE referral was given out last week. I promptly sent an email to our sw who replied quickly and said she has no real answers as to the reasons for the slow progress. She confirmed that there are less than 15 families ahead of us. This is NOT the number that I had been configuring. As a matter of fact, I was convinced it was less than 10. But the reason is because, as the sw also confirmed, that they have gone out of order to other families past our date because they had requested older children. So...if it they continue to give ONE referral per week, then we could be looking at a good THREE MORE MONTHS. This just makes me get on my knees harder. Whatever the circumstances are that are surrounding our little girl are of utmost importance. I dont know what is going on with her...her birth, her mother, her safety, her care. My prayers are that the Lord hastily put a protective shield around her. That He send a host of angels to comfort her. Aaaagh...my heart is aching, my throat is hurting. May the Lord bring her to us soon.

The Hard Truth about conditions for Women in Ethiopia

I am part of several blog groups that discuss and support Ethiopian adoption. I just ran across a blog article that describes some of the hard truths that surround so much of the difficult lives that women face in Ethiopia. I have read some of these in the past, but it was good to get a refresher to remind myself of some more areas to pray for when I lift up that precious country. If you want to read the full article, click here. I am including a brief clip of the truths below which describe some of the very reasons that women in Ethiopia are currently using sticks to abort babies. It is a sad truth this is rampant across the area. These beautiful women, some very young girls are faced with horrors that we can't really imagine.

Poverty

The statistics – and the realities of life in much of Ethiopia – are harsh. Over 85% of Ethiopian women live in rural areas where poor families are primarily engaged in subsistence agriculture. Over 65% of the population of 75 million people live below the poverty level. One in five children will not live to see their fifth birthday. Life expectancy is not quite 55 years. Nearly half of the population is undernourished and famine is a recurring problem.

Illiteracy

Ethiopia has among the worst rates of school enrollment for girls in Africa. The literacy rate for girls and women in Ethiopia is just 35%. When girls and women have access to education and are able to read, their status and the wellbeing of their families improves significantly.

Violence against women

In Ethiopia, almost 60 percent of women have been subjected to sexual violence including rape. Abortion is linked to violence, as approximately 25% of women seeking an abortion are pregnant as a result of rape. Ethiopian women face further violence in the form of early and forced marriage or marriage by abduction. Although it is hard to believe, an estimated 72% of women are married by abduction, a practice that often involves rape. According to one study, 85% of women believe their husbands have the right to beat them if they burn food, refuse sex, or go somewhere without their husband’s consent.