Got a call yesterday, November 30, 2011 from the agency. My heart fluttered when I saw their name on the caller i.d. because usually they send emails regarding travel information. The fact that they were calling did not seem right. When I answered, Maxine asked if Chris was also available..at which time, I KNEW bad news was about to be delivered. She then proceeded to put me on speaker phone with two other agency representatives. In a somber voice, she told me that there had been a terrible mix up and that the orphanage had made a mistake and had given our little girl to another agency at the same time they had given her to our agency. The other family involved has just gone through court and now she is legally their little girl. Maxine simply stated, "we are considering this a loss of referral". I have heard that before. She delivered the SAME news on July 7, 2010 after C's heartattack.
A loss. A loss of a little girl. A loss of a child that we have been dreaming about bringing home. Sad does not begin to define the loss in my heart. My heart grieves. My soul sobs. My body aches. I have cried out to my Lord but silence greets me. I await His response and sit in this sunshine filled window...but my heart is not met with healing yet. The sun brings no rays of warmth to this dark place. I grieve. I wait. I am still.
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