Lilypie Waiting to adopt Ticker

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Little Man



These pics were taken just last week. Little man woke up with this awesome hair and I had to snap a picture of his preciousness. His hair is usually the same everyday with little or no upkeep. But this day was an exception. I am assuming he had an AWESOME night rolling around in the bed. The next pic is where I found our little man after I could not find him anywhere in the house. I kept calling for him and even peaked into the living room not noticing him behind all the cushions. This is where he perks himself while watching his favorite video--CARS! He is a cutieee!
As I was lying in bed lastnight praying and reliving the days events, I lifted up my little man. He is such a momma's boy. He loves me so much that he sometimes has a hard time letting me share my love to his siblings. He typically will not let me hold another's baby..and sometimes he will try to separate Chris and I when we are in a long embrace after a hard day's work. I am praying that when his little sister gets here that he will be thrilled and not feel threatened...that his little heart will be welcoming and not jealous...that he will be all ready to play with her and not want to pelt her with a toy from across the room :). Pray for that with me. Isnt he a doll?!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Please Pray for Peace, Respect, and Humility

With all the current adoptions occuring in ET right now, there has been increasing concern over the way some adoptive families are handling the process while in country. Some, if not most, of this is due to the huge variation in agencies sponsoring the adoptions. While some agencies are on the ball with regulations and specifications, some unfortunately are not. The result is a mixed message to the ET culture. One that is beginning to send a negative message. I am posting below a most recent message from Joint Council who helps mediate these adoptions. Please read below. If you are a friend/family who is just keeping up to date with our process, please pray over this situation that peace would reign and that no 'exodus' measures would be taken and ET refrain from adoptions. If you are a family who is currently in the adoption process, please read it carefully and prayerfully consider all that it is instructing the adoptive families to do, and finally if you are a family who has already adopted from ET, can you spread this news and help pray for the future adoptions to go smoothly and that the american families would practice respect and humility while in ET.

October 22, 2008
Joint Council Policy Recommendation
Cultural Sensitivity Regarding Adoptions in Ethiopia

Every adoption is like a rollercoaster for the adoptive parents. There are
always obstacles to overcome and hoops to jump through. But in every
adoption there are also many highs. For most adoptive parents the biggest high
is finally being able to travel, meet the child whose photo you fell in love with
long ago, and holding them in your arms. It is the moment that every adoptive parent
longs for and dreams of. Adoptive parents want to spend every moment with their
new child, learning every little piece of their personality and spirit. Adoptive parents want to show their new child(ren) everything that the world has
to offer them. This being said sometimes it is necessary for an adoptive family
to be respectful of a country's local culture and hold off these magical
moments for a few days. Joint Council feels that this is the case in
Ethiopia.

Very often adoptive families stay at an international, national or
local hotel in Addis Ababa. And fulfilling their long held desires, families often
bring their newly adopted child to the hotel during their stay in Ethiopia..
Many times the adoptive family also goes shopping or sightseeing in Addis
Ababa or another local city or village.

This overriding desire, which is very normal and certainly
understandable, often results in unintended cultural insensitivity to the Ethiopian
government and citizens. With over 3,000 adoptions expected in Ethiopia this year,
hotels and other common gathering places such as shopping areas often see
relatively large numbers of families with their newly adopted Ethiopian child.

Given that the vast majority of American and European families
adopting from Ethiopia are Caucasian or other non-black, the adoptive families and their Ethiopian child are easily distinguished and are often a point of
curiosity among Ethiopian citizens. Understandably, due to misconceptions about
adoption some Ethiopian citizens even look upon American and European adoptive
families with suspicion. Cultural differences in parenting and child behavior are
contributing to this suspicion.

The large number of adoptive families combined with the curiosity and
suspicions of Ethiopian citizens and with cultural differences in parenting and child
behavior, is unfortunately causing unintended yet very significant
concerns among some Ethiopian citizens and the government. Subsequently these
unintended consequences are weakening the work and services being provided in
order to ensure permanent families for the children of Ethiopia. Without
exaggeration, this may lead to the elimination of intercountry adoption as an option for ensuring that every Ethiopian child has a safe, permanent and loving
family.

During Joint Council’s trips to Ethiopia in June and July, concerns
regarding the large numbers of adoptive families, including the Ethiopian child,
staying at hotels and traveling throughout the city were expressed repeatedly
by the Ethiopian government. Significant numbers of Ethiopian citizens have
contacted the government with questions and more significantly with complaints.

During a Joint Council presentation to adoption service providers from the
United States, Italy and France, Joint Council addressed the very important
issue of cultural sensitivities. All adoption service providers we
strongly urged to refrain from utilizing hotels and restricting in-city travel for
adoptive families. Supporting Joint Council’s recommendation was the Network
(a large association of adoption service providers in Ethiopia).

Most adoption service providers that recognized the issue of cultural
sensitivity are following the recommendation. In fact some have instituted
cultural sensitivity policies regarding lodging and in-city travel
prior to the Joint Council recommendation. For example, increasing numbers of adoption service providers have established private guesthouses for adoptive
families. Unfortunately not all adoption service providers have chosen to be
proactive and implement cultural sensitivity policies. Just as unfortunately, many
adoptive parents are insisting on staying at hotels and going shopping in Addis
Ababa despite repeated requests from their adoption service provider, reputable
advocates such as the Network and the Ethiopian government.

It is essential that adoptive parents and adoption service providers
demonstrate respect for the country in which they are respectively adopting and
working. Without demonstrating respect for the country and its people, the adoptive
family is in turn disregarding the culture of their child(ren).
Similarly the adoption service provider is disrespecting the children they seek to
serve.

It is for these reasons and more that we urge adoption service
providers to encourage adoptive parent to please refrain from staying in hotels and
venturing out in public with their newly adoptive children. With respectful
deference to cultural sensitivities in Ethiopia, to the Government of Ethiopia, and
to the people of Ethiopia, Joint Council strongly urges all adoption service
providers to immediately implement policies which incorporate the following
principles Adoptive parents are similarly requested to respect their child(ren),
their birth country and culture and abide by the following principles and
the policies of their adoption service provider.

Cultural Sensitivity Principles and Guidelines

Principles
1. All due care must be given to demonstrate cultural sensitivities
towards the country, people and government of Ethiopia
2. Full recognition of the questions, concerns, curiosities and suspicions
must be given to the Government of Ethiopia and its citizens
3. It is recognized that adopting an Ethiopian child is a "privilege of
giving" bestowed by the citizens and government of Ethiopia
4. It is recognized that every Ethiopian child has a right to a family -
every family does not have an inherent right to an Ethiopian child
5. Actions and behaviors which may not appear to be offensive to U.S.
adoptive parents, may in fact be extremely offensive to Ethiopian society
6. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive damage the
institution of intercountry adoption and thereby limit opportunities for
children in need to find a family
7. Actions and behaviors seen as culturally insensitive significantly
contribute to the possible elimination of intercountry adoption in
Ethiopia and thereby eliminate the right of every Ethiopian child to a safe,
permanent and loving family

Guidelines
1. Adoption service providers will incorporate these principles and
guidelines into their contractual or policy relationships with potential
adoptive families
2. Adoption service providers will disclose the contractual or policy
limitations related to cultural sensitivities to all prospective adoptive
parents prior to approving an application from the prospective
adoptive parents
3. Prior to taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive
families may reside in a hotel during their stay
a. It is recommended that adoptive families utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses
or a lodging facility operated by an adoption service provider during
their entire stay in Ethiopia
b. Adoptive families who have not taken full custody of their adopted
Ethiopian child may choose to utilize a hotel
i. In such cases the adoptive parents may visit their adopted Ethiopian
child daily at the child care center
4. Upon taking custody of their adopted Ethiopian child, adoptive families
will utilize Ethiopian Guest Houses or a lodging facility operated by an
adoption service provider
5. Adoptive families will refrain from in-country travel with their
adopted Ethiopian child
a. Exceptions to this guideline (#5) are limited to
i. The visa appointment at the U.S. Embassy
ii. Other adoption related events
iii. An emergency situation
6. Adoptive families will refrain from pressuring their adoption service
provider or in-country staff to violate these principles, guidelines
and/or agency polices representing these principles and guidelines

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Friend's Journey...

I want to share this beautiful pictorial journey that our church friends just posted. They brought their little one home from ET just a few short weeks ago. I am in awe of the pictures, their stories, their messages...their depiction of our daughter's birth home. My heart hungers to hold her as I know she is there somewhere..even if it is still in her birth mom's womb. The Putty Family is precious and I have been thanking the Lord for their safe travels and successful journey to bring home their son. They have only greater things ahead. Watch their spectacular travel abroad. Don't forget to pause our music at the bottom of the page.Give it some time to load up before you hit play :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Them there are fight'n words...


I am a fan of Joyce Meyer ministries and all her words of wisdom and her books and podcasts. She is an amazing speaker with a fascinating testimony. I have been through a couple of her biblestudies and have two devotional books of hers that I love. They are called, "Ending Your Day Right" and "Starting Your Day Right". This morning I grabbed the evening devotional (okay it doesn't matter that it was morning!) and began to open my heart to every word I read.
On a side note, this past week has been a difficult one for our family. In a nutshell, we have been on a downward spiral with some interesting goings on within our spiritual community. Without saying too much, it has simply been attack after attack on our family. Feeling like one against one thousand has not been the easiest feat. As Chris and I have held eachother close and spoken life into eachother, we have faced the hardships of others not speaking life to us. Essentially, these others should have been speaking life, should have 'had our backs', should have been supportive but were not. As I read the devotional this morning, it tied some very simple truths that have been spoken to us over the past few days by some great friends. I have to say that our dear sweet friends, our spiritual family has been the greatest during all of this. We are humbled by God's completeness as He has provided just what we need. One word spoken yesterday by a dear friend suggested that these attacks from the enemy are on the cusp of some great things going on in our ministry. ..and further to consider that the enemy is hard on our trail to thwart the very things that God is calling us to do. During this difficult few days, I have not had the clear vision to see such. It was like a lightbulb moment..."of course!".
In further confirmation, as I get back to the devotion (sorry for digressing),Joyce Meyer confirmed, "The devil does not want you to start anything of value-and if you do manage to get started, he does not want you to finish." p284.
I have long known that the enemy will use the weaknesses in others to attack us. While it sounds like a no brainer, it is a simple concept that is easily forgotten. While it may appear that the devil himself has come in the flesh to fire his flaming arrows, the truth is that he finds a weak soul to invest in for a few days in order to attack another. There may be times that this weak soul gets a revelation and the devil moves on and then there are times that he lingers for awhile and creates strongholds. My prayer is that God would call me to my knees before the enemy could use me to tear someone down. I admit that I have work to do :).
My spirit is strengthening as I break free from the false hold that was on me. PTL that the enemy has never and will never have the authority to win. His fighting days are over. As I shout from the roof tops, I believe that great things will be happening in this spiritual community..and I believe that even greater things will be happening in the spiritual realm where those that spoke out of character and acted out of character will have their eyes opened. I am believing that the Lord would shine His light on these situations and let the truth be known so that no more darkness and trouble would be allowed to settle here. It is time to put on the fighting gloves and get to work.
If you have not had the privelege to read any of Joyce Meyers materials, I strongly encourage you to start anywhere. There is no doubt, a message for you in one of the many books and studies that she has. In addition, I encourage you to get into a strong church community where you can develop a spiritual family that can hold you up like no others can. The church was designed for just such a ministry as that. "The believers gathered together..."
Be encouraged, if nothing else, that the Lord is faithful to answer the prayers of the righteous.

12 months and counting....

I think I have mentioned this before, but just got further confirmation this morning that the current wait time for our little girl is now 12 months. I was hoping that this delay was for those who had submitted their paperwork after us, but it applies to us :(. This means that it could possibly be August of '09 before we are able to get a referral. We have been told from the beginning 6-9 months. But over the course of our process, the wait times have gotten longer. Not much to say except that God is in control. I choose not to be (that) discouraged and look forward to the moments we will be able to hold our daughter and love on her and bless her and let her bless us. I can't wait! Our kids ask nearly every day about her. We love her as if she were here already. I am hoping and praying that our prayers are lifting her up whether she is in the womb or has just been birthed. May the Lord cover her and protect her and bless her birth mother and her caregivers. Today is a beautiful day. May the Lord be glorified in it.