Seeing our princess

Wednesday, we got up early and headed to Hawassa. After the 4.5 hour trip there, we were exhausted, mentally and physically. The scenery was beyond amazing which I described some in the post before. Chris and I are still captivated by the region and feel sure that we would probably still be country folk even if we were in ET...despite the fact that we have no idea how to plow with simple handmade tools and cattle strapped with yolks. Beautiful. ..and the donkeys. Can't wait to post pics.We arrived at the Lewi Hotel and had a quick lunch. We cleaned up and headed to the orphanage. Okay..I have to tell you that by this time my stomach was COMPLETELY messed up. I have always been a girl that gets a little queasy in the back of the car..but this drive had made me VERY ill...almost lost my cookies a few times. I think combined with the fact that I was getting ready to see my daughter and hold her for the first time was too much for me to handle. I kept trying to picture me in the orphanage but my mind was picturing me throwing up all over the place! perfect. So..I kept praying that I would not throw up. ..the whole time I was there.We arrived, and there stood the beautiful green iron gates. Prepared to stay only 60-90 minutes, Chris and I geared up. We followed our social worker inside and they showed us our greeting room and encouraged us to sit. Chris and I sat as they left. I looked around. A big handwritten WELCOME sign hung above Chris' head. I lost it. Ugly tears spewed from my eyes. I felt like they were spraying across the room. Chris grabbed my hand and then he lost it. Both of us did not want to look like wackos but we were having a very hard time holding back. The nannies and social worker would come in and out bringing little parts of our baby girls life: a walker, a floor mat, some toys. I was dying!! My eyes were fixed to the window that faced the walkway that led to her room. Our social worker walked by and in her arms, our princess. My eyes darted to the entrance of our room just as they rounded the corner. There she was!! Oh..I can't tell you. I am pretty sure that I stopped breathing. I watched in slow motion as she layed her down on the mat. I wanted to grab her up immediately but I respected the fact that they wanted us to take this introduction slowly. Pardon me for wanting to completely want to eat her up. So, slow we were.She looked at us intently..then back at her nanny and the social worker, then back at us. I am pretty sure we are the first white people she has seen. I am sure we looked different to her. She did not smile. She just took it all in. We let her.For a moment, I forgot how to talk to a baby. I have had three already but what in the world?!! I think they could see my nervousness. Still, I am praying I am not going to lose my cookies all over my baby girl and completely insult everyone. The nanny began to coo and speak to her and there she smiled. SO beautiful to see. The love that her nanny has for her. THe love our sweet girl had for her nanny. beautiful.Through the waves of nervousness, I started to breathe. I began to talk and giggle with her and tickle. Chris and I began to relax. I could feel the eyes of the nanny and social worker totally scoping us out to see if we were going to be good parents to her. My nerves picked back up. Please dont let me throw up, Lord. Just then, the nanny blessed us with some coffee and roasted grains. Uh...my stomach. I didnt want to be rude. Chris graciously accepted the little cup of dark goodness. I took mine. I was able to take one sip and swallow with some more prayer..and was able to nibble on one tiny grain. That's all I could handle. I could think of nothing more than holding her. No more waiting. I picked her up. OH.MY.GOODNESS. unreal. Lord, is this real? Am I really in AFRICA holding my baby girl?!!! She seemed heavier than I expected but a good heavy. I loved every minute of it. Our baby girls name is Tadelech. It means "You are blessed". They call her Tadu...pronounced TAH doo. As they called her name, she smiled...and smiled. Her little bottom teeth glowed with each grin.Lord, please let me be as much a blessing as these sweet nannies. Lord, let us make her smile like they do. Okay..I admit, I was a little jealous..but understandably so. There is so much pressure that goes into this one meeting. So much.No wonder my stomach was in knots...and then I kept thinking, Oh Lord..the time is ticking.Tadelech began to warm up and soon smiles abounded. She would totally perk up when Chris talked to her. What a blessing. Our social worker let us stay for 2 hours!! I cannot believe it. I was able to feed a bottle to her. We were able to walk with her in the courtyard.I forgot to mention that the social worker forgot her camera. This whole meeting has to be documented by photo to prove to the judge that we have seen her atleast 24 hours before court. A mini miracle is that the day we left for ET, Chris and I grabbed our son's camera that just so happened to use the same memory card that the sw used. We were going to use our phones only on the trip but grabbed his camera as an extra. Thank you Lord for again providing.SO...the sw usually only takes a couple of pictures as documentation but she let us take our own pics. Can't wait to post them. We probably took close to 2 dozen pics or more. Thank you Lord. When our sw worker gets back to her computer to look at them, she is probably gonna freak out. We would grab it snap pics even when they werent around. They let us have some sweet alone time with Tadelech. Every moment was precious to the very end. As they asked us to prepare to leave, the tears poured again. I didnt want to go. I didnt want to hand her over. Chris and I gave her kisses and snuggles and slowly gave her to her nanny.It will be close to 3-5 months or even more before we see her again. Her nanny grasped her close and gave her kisses. And as we left, her nanny held her close and they both bowed a little as they said good bye and Selam (peace). Ciao sweetness. See you soon.