We got a REFERRAL!!!

August 2, 2011....we got our referral!! What a glorious day. We were on vacation in the Smoky Mtns for a family reunion and chose to spend this wonderful day at Dollywood.
I am telling you that this day couldn't have gone any better already. We were having a glorious time with our kids, cousins, and grandparents. Everyone was in a great mood, the park was not crowded at all, the rides were glorious, the shows fantastic, the lines short and sweet, and the refreshment of the getaway completely fulfilling. This is a picture of me just minutes before we got the call. We were watching a great show on Eagles and birds. Following the show, it was time to eat! As we approached the eateries, we stopped to check our options when my phone rang. It was our local social worker. As we had just been spending the last few weeks tidying up all of our dossier documents (again), I was confident that she had a question about our paperwork. Sure enough, this is how our conversation started... sweet steph, "Hey Shannon, are you near a computer?", me, "No, we are in the middle of Dollywood." We then discover that sweet steph had just been to Dollywood days before. sweet steph, "Do you think you can access a computer?" me, "uh..I think we will be able to when we get back to the cabin. We have some internet service there, but we won't be getting back til later this afternoon." sweet steph, "hmmm, ok..." me, "Is there a problem with our paperwork?". sweet steph, "NO, there is just a little girl in ET that is waiting on you to bring her home!!!!!!!!". AAAAAAGHHHHH! The tears started rolling. At this point, I am standing in the middle of a thoroughfare in the middle of Dollywood. Chris is wondering how long this convo is going to last so we can order food, the folks that are moving around me are wondering when I am going to get out of the way, and the kids are hungry and tugging at my side. I slowly moved to the edge of the sidewalk with obvious 'ugly cry' emotions running wild. This kind of a cry usually emits the 'there's been a death in the family' kind of alarm. I could see it on their faces as my family looked at me with horror. Grandma comes up and asks what is wrong. All I can manage to whisper is, "we have our girl!!!!!" She knew instantly. Smiles began to abound as she passed the word along. To be honest, I can't even remember Chris' reaction at that point. I believe his back had been to me all this time with his eyes glued to the menu board of the restaurant!! But when Grandma spread the news, Chris was by my side in an instant. He was glued to me, our hearts as one. We stood there in the middle of Dollywood as sweet steph gave beautiful details. I tilted the phone and we shared ear to ear the first news about our little girl. From beginning to end of the phone call my emotions were in full throttle. Chris was in shock. It was surreal. We were in the midst of themepark extravaganza and were experiencing our own thriller of a rollercoaster ride. It was so amazing. The Lord couldn't have picked a better place or time to deliver the news. It was almost as if the Lord wanted to provide the best backdrop. Sure, I wouldn't have personally picked this particular place, but God did. Kind of like, "here ya' go. This is a celebration time, a time of rejoicing, fun, being surrounded by the people you love. This is the time, the moment that I want to share something special with you!!"
It is funny, because the rest of our time at Dollywood was pretty much a blur. Sweet steph sent a pic of her to my phone. It was like my lifeline. I looked at that pic every few minutes. Smiles couldn't be hidden. I was distracted constantly as I read bits of her history over my smartphone in the tiniest print. I did this til my battery faded away.
Here is a pic of us that evening after our big reunion dinner.
What a glorious night. We were able to share our news with the big family clan. We can't post pics of her until we pass court, so that is why she is blurred out in the image. I can't wait to share her pic later!! She is absolutely the most beautiful doll I have ever seen. Our sweet little daughter. Cannot wait to bring her home!!

Bringing everyone up to speed

4 days after my last post, our family's lives changed forever. To keep things super simple, my sweet hubs had a heart attack, died in my arms in the ER, and was revived 35 minutes and 11 shocks later. Our lives have never been the same. Following that most incredible miracle, we spent the summer recovering physically and emotionally. We lost the referral of our baby girl and were put on a six month hold on the adoption.
THAT is the brief update. SO much has happened in the meantime. Mainly, our Lord gave us a beautiful new perspective on life. Each day is incredibly new. It's not just about not 'sweating the small stuff' but about making the big stuff what it should be. While being disappointed beyond belief that we were not able to bring home our little girl, we knew God's plan was so much bigger. We began to look at the process in a completely different way. We completely relinquished the process to Him. Before, we were looking at the phone and emails constantly...waiting on the latest news in our process. We were anxious and ever trying to speed up the process by rushing to get documents and paperwork done. But, after our miracle intervention on June 6, 2010, God could not have been more clear. The timing is in HIS hands. Nothing we can do can change that.
SO, we have approached this second waiting with a completely new heart. Following a 6 month hiatus, we were informed that we had to redo all of our paperwork, dossier, homestudy, fingerprints...EVERYTHING. Basically, it was like starting all over from ground zero. We did it, smiles in tow, no rushing. God's timing. We did it all. As a matter of fact, we signed the last bits of documents on July 13.
We havent been anxiously looking at the phone or emails. ..just waiting on the Lord. Okay...I have to admit, I have inquired a few times with the agency..but not harassed.
This past week, Aug 2, 2011, while walking through the streets of Dollywood with the family, WE GOT THE CALL!! THE CALL! THE CALL! Did you hear me?!!! THE call! more details to come in next post!!!!

Momma's coming. Hang in there!

This is it! a super new picture of Mussie Orphanage where our little girl is. Inside those walls....through those windows, is our little girl! Wonder what she is doing? Is she crying? Is she laughing? Is someone holding her, hugging her, kissing on her? I can't wait. This picture is from another family from our agency who just visited Mussie. I loved reading her blog and trying to place myself in her shoes. In only a few weeks, I WILL be there!
My little girl is there. ..behind those precious teal walls. Hold on baby, we are coming! We are praying for you constantly! We carry your precious picture with us everywhere we go. It is pasted all over our house. I kiss your precious lips and cheeks every night before I close my eyes. You are in my heart sweetie until I can get you in my arms forever! sleep tight!

Our baby girl is here: Mussie Orphanage. It is located in Southern Ethiopia. It is a single story building that I believe has somewhere around 60+ orphans currently. Last night, I was researching this orphanage and found a blog of a gal who has just returned with her son from there. They were actually there when our little girl had just been placed just 2 weeks ago. It is so possible that she may have even seen her. As I read about her experience, I tried to place myself there. That is so hard to do! More though...my heart cried out. She said that the orphanage had a great need for baby clothing and that the infants and babes wore no clothes during the day but a simple cloth to apparently act as some sort of diaper. She said that the babies were placed in diapers in the evenings so as to conserve the diapers as much as possible. Instantly, I pictured our little girl with no covering. Although the picture I have of her displays her with a cute little outfit, it is highly possible that she was simply dressed for picture day. I have not stopped crying.
I could not help myself today but to run over to Goodwill and find as many onesies, tops, and outfits I could fit in my armload so that we can bring them to the orphanage. I got 17 of them. 17...that is nothing. There are so many needs. I pray for wisdom as we prepare to travel and for the means to get us there and for the treasures that we can bring them.
I will post more later of the process that is still to come. ;)

We got the REFERRAL!

May 7th, 2010 at 2:42pm the phone rang. Chris and I were getting ready to take a quick nap. He had worked all day..been up since 2am. We heard the phone ring. My heart jumped as usual but I was not expecting THIS call. Chris leaned over and glanced at the caller i.d. He said, " It is someone from Twin Cities, MN". I could not tell him to answer it fast enough! He gave me the phone but wasnt sure that THIS was THE call. I could tell he was skeptical, as was I. After all, we have had so many discouragements, it has been almost better to not expect the call than to expect it. Sweet Amy, our sw, quietly said, "Hi, Shannon". In her solemn tone, I was sure she was responding to an email I had sent her earlier this morning expressing more discouragement. I was preparing myself for her comforting words of how we are close to the top or we are almost there....but she didnt say any of this. Instead, the next 4 words will forever be engraved in my memory. Amy said, "Today is the day". Her soft tone was so calm and collect. As I type this, I am crying. It was beyond a sweet moment. I said, "really?"...."yes!", she said. She asked Chris to get on the other line. Funny how it seemed to take.him.forever.to.get.to.the.other.phone. My hand gestures of 'hurry up!' were not seeming to help either!
When Chris got on the phone, Amy sweetly and slowly began to give us the details of our daughter. OUR DAUGHTER! "She is 6 months old. She was born in the Southern region of Ethiopia..." Her history was so beautiful to hear. I clung to every word. I scrambled to write down the details even though she promised to send them via email within minutes. Chris and I looked at each other across the kitchen counter as she spilled every word about our daughter. I couldnt see half the time as tears filled my eyes. "Do you have any questions?", she asked. Nothing..nothing came to my mind. I have been waiting for 2 1/2 years and I had NO questions. "That is okay", Amy said. "Usually there is not much to say at this time." Chris popped up with a question about travel time. Good question, honey! She told us that we would be traveling to court in 2-3 months and then we will travel 6 weeks later to bring her home! Glory to God! We have our girl. Our prayers are that everything goes according to plan: that we travel safely, before courts close, that we pass court, that we bring her home before her first birthday, that she remains healthy, that our children are covered during our travels, that we stay healthy before, during, and after travels, that there are NO complications.
PTL! We got the call!

Top of the list

Today is Saturday. A beautiful day. It has been a beautiful week as a matter of fact. But the sunshine seemed not to be shining so brightly on Thursday in my heart. I had just stumbled upon another blogger who had reportedly gotten their referral for a baby girl from ET. Not only that, but they had also gotten their court date already. They are also from TN. They are with a different agency and she had been put on the wait list in February of 2010. She was immediately placed at #19 on the list. And now..just a few months later, she has a picture of her beauty in her hands. This news seemed to penetrate deeply. I do not know this family. I do not know their circumstances. But...it seemed to make my circumstances so much more evident. We have been on the waitlist since August of 2008. We have been given no # on the waitlist. We have no referral. no court date. no picture to hold in our hands. I instantly sent a message to our sw in MN. After my plea for more detailed, comforting information, I decided I could not wait for a reply via email, so I called. She picked up! Amy was incredibly helpful. All in all, she said that we were at the top of the list. She said we are next. They are simply waiting for more referrals to come in from ET. I get it. Each agency is different. What seems odd is the incredible difference in timing for different families.
After I got off the phone, I melted just a bit. I just cried out. Amy had been very helpful, very comforting, very informative of the process. STILL the moment consumed me and I allowed all kinds of emotions to take place. While I know my Savior lives, I couldn't help but to buckle a bit under all the swirlies going on in my brain. Knowing this was taking place, I knew I had to do something. I reached above me to the bookshelf next to my chair and grabbed my devotional. (Notice I did not get up--that might have been too much for me). But thankfully, my devotional sat there waiting for me. As I flipped to that days date, glancing through watery eyes, I knew it was just what I needed. Its message was clear: Be thankful. As I read through it, I was convicted. I was questioning my Lord's ability to run this whole shindig. I was thinking perhaps I had a better plan. Wow. It is good that He doesn't pull back the curtain to the heavenly realms and let me peek in. It would be too much for me to understand. He asks that we live by faith, not by sight. The Lord's ever watchful eyes and careful hands have so tenderly orchestrated every moment leading up to us being at the top of the list. Everything from who our little girl is to who within the agency will be the one looking over her file and ours in order to make the perfect match. We are on our 12th social worker. 12th! It has taken lots of directing to get her to this point!
Needless to say, I am thankful. Tired..but thankful. I immediately emailed my sw back giving my gratitude and explaining my devotional. I wanted her to know how so very special she is in the process to us. The Lord has ordained her to be in this very place in our lives. How so beautiful.
She emailed back not too long after stating how it had made her day! how sweet! The Lord promises as we refresh others, we, ourselves will be refreshed. so true!
In a nutshell, we are at the top of the list. I am praying my next post will bring THE news!

It is Well

On Monday, Chris and I were able to steal away for a night to the Inn at Evins Mill. It is a precious bed and breakfast Inn that is tucked away in a very rural area with beautiful natural landmarks. It was a PERFECT getaway...so very needed for the both of us. The Lord was completely blessing us each step of the way with perfect weather, perfect room with super big porch, perfect food, perfect solitude and quietness of nature. This was SO perfect that I completely forgot to check out our agency hotline update which usually goes up every monday. Guess what? I didnt check it until Tuesday morning! Upon my surprise, I found that they are FINALLY giving referrals for infants to those who started their wait in August '08. THAT'S US!! Our official wait date (which is when our dossier landed in ET) is Aug 8, '08. This precious date of 08-08-08 is also the awesome birth of our sweet nephew, little O AND the birthdate of my awesome big brother! SO...needless to say, it is a divine date. What does all this mean? Well, that we are getting closer. Unfortunately, the dark side to that kind of news can reinstate a new level of anxiety; ie. checking my phone every hour or so to make sure it is ON, making sure my phone is with me at all times, panicking if I have missed a call, etc. This is NOT good. The blessing is that peace comes when you ask for it.
Today, I was surrounded by my precious girl friends in a our ladies leader group from church. I confessed my slight obsession and asked that peace come. Before leaving, they beautifully prayed over me a prayer of peace and contentment and that the call would come in the Lord's perfect timing. Even more so, as the tears rolled down my cheek, they prayed for our sweet little girl, that angels would protect her in every way. I am resting in that peace. I have included a pic from our stay at the Inn of the waterfall that we were so very blessed to enjoy all to ourselves that day. It was beyond glorious. The peace that flowed from that river was unbelievable. There was such a draw, such an attraction that it was magnetizing. Almost like the glow of fire that captures your soul instantly as you fade into its depths of glowing coals, we would just sit there in the beauty of God's creation without words to express. That peace is what I am trying to cling onto as we wait for the call. There is no way we could get any closer as far as notices from the hotline. So truly, the wait is on but so is the peace. It is well :)